My Recipe

25 Feb

This is typically how I bake.

Aspirin Cake
Light the oven. Get out bowl and spoon. Get all ingredients. Grease pan. Crack nuts. Put the dog outside. Remove book and baby doll from table. Measure 7 cups flour. Get baking powder. Remove Addie’s hands from flour. Get pan and broom. Sweep up flour and broken bowl. Get another bowl. Answer phone. Remove Addie’s hands from broken eggs. Wash Addie. Get 2 more eggs. Answer the doorbell. Take ¼ cup of salt out of greased pan. Take shallow bowl. Empty out cracked nuts. Slap Addie’s hands. Pick up broken measuring cup as Addie flees. Wash kitchen floor, table, walls, and dishes. Call Bakery. Take and aspirin or two. Lie down.

I love this “recipe.” It seems like every task ends up this way. I have a little too much help lately with all of my daily chores. Addison loves to “help” with the laundry (unfold the clothes) or unload this dishwasher (try her hardest to swipe the knives, ect..she wants to close the dishwasher every time I turn to put something in a cabinet so that I have to open the dishwasher at least 20 times while unloading one load.) or grocery shop.

Yes, today we went to the grocery store. I was about to have to go to the Wacky House by the time we were finished. Addison threw several fits..smashed the bread, screamed “OPEN” a million times for yogurt, and broke a dozen eggs while we were at Kroger. *sigh* No, I am not exaggerating. Not to mention she nearly flipped over the edge of the buggy. Yes, I know she should be strapped in and most of the time she is… but she was getting way too restless by the time we were finished so I decided to let her sit in the big part of the buggy. (I coupon shop because who has the money for groceries anymore?? But the disadvantage is that it takes a LOT longer.) Mamaw was “watching” her while I unloaded the groceries on the belt. By this time we had two carts. One for groceries and one for Addison because she was slowly ruining my groceries and costing me more money by the second. Anyway, I looked over and she is hanging over the edge of the cart and Mamaw is standing there looking at the people coming in and out of the entrance. Meanwhile, Evil Kineval decides to take advantage of the situation. Luckily, I was close enough to grab the hood of her sweater to reel her back in. Of course, the sudden whiplash scared her and so she starts crying hysterically. Meanwhile, I feel like every person in Kroger is watching me and probably thinking, “Lady, get your screaming child under control!!” and in return, I feel the urge to stick my tounge out at all the old women watching me..but I refrain.

Now I remember why I shop at night while she is asleep and Chris is at home with her.


5 Responses to “My Recipe”

  1. Amy February 25, 2009 at 4:43 pm #

    Oh! I know what you are talking about. This is what gives us wrinkles and grey hair!

  2. katy February 25, 2009 at 7:51 pm #

    Good post…you have me laughing out loud…only because this time it isn’t my child.How about this: I was in Krogers yesterday and we passed a lady pushing a buggy with her cute little baby sitting up front…Isabel got one look at him and starts yelling “I want that black baby!Give me that black baby!!!!”Try that on for embarassment…

  3. brownblog February 26, 2009 at 12:16 am #

    OH, but you're going to miss it in a few years. Know why? Because instead of throwing fits and crying she'll be backtalking & rolling her eyes! You're so funny.

  4. slyefamily February 27, 2009 at 1:16 am #

    That is so awesome…wait until there are two! I remember shopping when abigail was just over two and seth was barely sittin gup in the buggy and i turned my back and suddenly there was my daughter climbing on the side of the cart. It actually tipped over on top of her with seth still strapped in (the strap saved him from a nice head bonking) and i had two hysterically crying children on my hands. But it does get easier! (didnt mean to scare ya! :>)

  5. Amy February 27, 2009 at 7:50 pm #

    I feel ya sister! And guess what? Just to make you feel better…I’ll tell ya…soon, you will have ANOTHER one to add to it!

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